Valentine's Day / Sv. Trifun

Justin explains this past weekend.

Last Word on Balkan Insight . . . for now

You may have noticed that the last half-dozen entries have referred you to a Balkan Insight article containing something utterly ridiculous about Macedonia. The frequency of 'utterly ridiculous' articles has intensified in the past month - hell, the past week - to the point where I have to step back and wonder: what is going on?

Macedonia is really a wonderful place. And yes, there are a lot of ridiculous things going on, but to read Balkan Insight, one would think that the circus came to town and never left. I've read Balkan Insight since my arrival here, and barring the occasional flare-up between Greece and Macedonia on the name issue, the number of articles concerning Macedonia corresponded with the country's size. Balkan Insight also covers Serbia, Albania, Bulgaria, Romania, Montenegro, Kosovo, and Croatia; the front page headlines for Macedonia were relatively few compared to the rest.

Yet in the past month, I would say that over half the stories I have seen on the main page have been about Macedonia, despite some very interesting things going on in Albania at the moment. Macedonia has an upcoming election, which might explain this disparity, but Albania also has an election and hasn't received nearly as much coverage. Moreover, all these articles on Macedonia are written by the same person. The same reporter has been giving us the Alexander/Tose fountain-statue, folk singers healed by war criminals, VMRO's presidential homophobia, etc., etc.
It's a grab bag of Balkan absurdity, all in a few weeks.

I don't mean to say that these articles are not true. But, since I receive most of my English-language news from one source (Balkan Insight) which receives Macedonian stories from one source (this single reporter) I have to wonder about the editorial thought process.

Suspicious minds. . .

Beyond Parody

If a Macedonian mayor has her way, the landmark gracing Skopje's main square would in a novel way bring together two men seen as among the nation's greateast sons: Alexander the Great mounted on a horse, floating in a fountain to tunes of revered late pop star Tose Proeski.

Maybe I'm wrong - maybe Balkan Insight is really just a Balkan version of 'The Onion'.

Genocide does kind of sound like a mouthwash . . .

I read the English-language news website Balkan Insight daily. I would say about 50% of the stories on Macedonia cause me to sigh, shake my head, and mumble "Seriously? Seriously?" to myself. The other 49% percent of the stories usually inspire me to curse Greece.

Then there's that 1% that I just have to share:

"While visiting her husband in the Hague war crimes detention facility, Macedonian folk singer Sonja Tarculovska had her toothache cured with a simple touch from genocide suspect Radovan Karadzic, she told a Macedonian daily."

Do read the whole thing.

Mumps in Macedonia

There has been a mumps outbreak in Macedonia, due to the complete lack of vaccinations for an entire generation of children in the mid-90's, who are now in high school.

This has caused all of my twenty-something American friends to look at each other curiously and engage in the following conversation:

"Mumps? Do people still get that?"
"I think it's like the Chicken Pox?"
"Did we get vaccinated for that? How long does that last?"
"I don't remember, man."
"Me either. I should probably call my mom."

So, how 'bout it, Ma? Can I go outside without a surgical mask over my face, Japanese-style?

Eric and Justin have nice write-ups of the events. Here's a news item about it.

Chuck Norris Jokes, and the Art of the Impossible

I'm going to assume that most everyone reading this has heard quite a few "Chuck Norris Jokes", i.e., 'Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice' or 'Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open'. The general idea is to attribute some ridiculous, impossible, or ironic ability to the earnest, B-list celebrity that is Chuck. I had thought that, aside from the occasional ironic T-shirt or Facebook wall quote, I had forever left Chuck Norris back at college.

But no - like numerous other aspects of American pop culture, Chuck Norris jokes have traveled to Macedonia, once again stripped of their former context. The ironic, ridiculous nature of the jokes in America has become a sort of Balkan-fatalistic way of expressing hopelessness and frustration at the bogged-down, post-communist, semi-free bureaucratic government. Two Macedonian-Chuck jokes I have heard:

'Chuck Norris got his paycheck for January' = The government recently tried to change their revenue gathering system, or something like that - whatever happened, the new software completely crashed the computer system, meaning that a whole lot of people in Macedonia didn't get paid at all for the month of January. Read about it here.

'Chuck Norris can buy alcohol after 7' = Just before I arrived, the government started passing a lot of piddling nanny-state type regulations. One of the first was banning the purchase of alcohol from shops after 7 p.m. It's irritating, believe me.

It's the hip, humorous equivalent of shrugging and saying, 'Oh well.' Chuck just enhances the futility of it all. Can Chuck solve the Greek-Macedonian name dispute? Only time will tell.

According to Jim

Small countries have big heroes. I should write an entire post about the pop star / quasi-saint / national hero of Macedonia, Tose Proeski - actually, I should write a book. But for the moment, I'll just direct you to Chelsi's post on Jim Belushi.

Jim (and his late brother) are ethnic Albanians, born to immigrant parents in Chicago. Albanians, in general, really really really love America anyway, and that a reasonably popular American sitcom star is part of the big Albanian family, well - it's a huge deal.

To be honest, if I turned on the TV at any given point in the day, every day, and 'According to Jim' was on I would throw my television out the window. It sounds like some sort of bizarre, ironic Twilight Zone concept.

For that reason, I would like to express my intention to start "The Better Belushi Foundation", dedicated to bringing varied and quality Belushi media to Albanian television. Yes, that just means 'Animal House' and old Saturday Night Live clips, but to a Belushi-starved nation, it can make all the difference.

I'll be accepting donations from the Albanian diaspora community. Cash.